This is my second Star Wars reference on Weddingbee. I'm kind of ashamed of myself.
Via Mashable.com
Yesterday, Mr. Blue Moon and I celebrated our two year proposal anniversary. Mr. Blue Moon sent a beautiful flower arrangement to me at work, and we went on a pizza date to Mellow Mushroom. As we sat and reflected on our relationship and everything that has happened over the last two years, we started talking about whether we would do it all over again this way or not.
If we had gotten engaged when we were both out of college, already had enough in savings, and secure jobs, would we have waited two years to get engaged? Probably not. But if we had to do it again on the exact same timeline, we would do this thing the same way. As we've spent all this time planning and saving and planning some more, we have realized some definite benefits to having a long engagement, and if anyone else out there is facing a long engagement, take heart! You will get some perks in the planning process that shorter-timeline-couples may not experience.
1. Less Pressure
The nicest part of a long engagement is that you're under zero pressure, and can do pretty much everything and make every decision at your own pace. Right after my proposal in 2014, I went into a wedding planning frenzy. That's when I put together my super detailed wedding planning binder, pinned all of my inspiration ideas like mad, and started thinking about ceremony and reception locations. But, when college finals stress hit or I had something else going on in my life, I didn't have to feel guilty for putting wedding planning aside for weeks, or even months, at a time. I knew it would be right there waiting for me to pick it back up whenever I was ready.
2. More Celebrating
Via MemeGen.com
An obvious perk of a long engagement is just that there's more time to celebrate the engagement itself. Instead of rushing to the wedding part, we've had two years to get used to calling each other fiancé/fiancee, celebrating with our family and friends through parties and dinners, and really just enjoying this special time of our life without any rushing at all. I really love being engaged because it's such an exciting time. Couples are right on the brink of a new life together. I have really loved having two years to celebrate Mr. Blue Moon and enjoy all the little moments knowing that it's all leading up to a beautiful marriage.
3. The Focus is Off the Wedding
Generally speaking, I think having such a long engagement has helped me keep things in perspective. I know that many brides, especially young brides (like me), can find themselves so invested in the planning of one princess day that they lose sight of the marriage. I was really worried about being one of them, because let's face it, a wedding is very special and very exciting, and theoretically, will only happen once in your life. It's easy to get lost in the planning. Taking our planning process so slowly has helped me focus on Mr. Blue Moon and the life we are building together for when the wedding is long over. It also helps me take pause and just really appreciate the people around me: my mom and mother-in-law, my dad and father-in-law, our funny and adorable siblings, our grandparents, my dear friends, the guests that we love and can't wait to spend the big day with. It is so magical to see everyone working together from several different corners of the country to make our wedding happen. And I know that after it's over, we have an amazing support system in these people who can help us through the rough patches that we'll inevitably face.
With Mr. Blue Moon's family. Just some of the people who are supporting us and helping it all come together. Personal Photo.
4. Saving Money
The obvious trick here is that Mr. Blue Moon and I have had two years to build our savings, and come up with a plan for our first year of marriage. I have had this past year to establish my career and start nesting in our future married home. However, we are also saving money on the wedding itself because we're not under such a time crunch. We can wait around for sales and deals, and we have time to research the best vendors without being under any pressure to book right away.
5. Planning to Perfection
Even though our two-year timeline enables me to put the wedding on the back burner when I want to, when I DO decide to go full-planning mode for a few weeks or months at a time, the long engagement enables us to have time for all the little details and making sure things are exactly what we envision. We have been able to change our minds about vendors who we might be stuck with on a shorter timeline, and we were able to wait for the opening of my dream reception venue, which didn't even exist when we first got engaged two years ago. Even though I'm usually not the bride who wants to worry about every little detail, the timeline enables me to do that when the fancy strikes me.
Via Weddingwire.com
Of course, there are cons to every beneficial thing. We are obviously running out of patience, and ready to be married. And our tastes have changed a little bit over two years, so some of the things we thought we'd want to include in the wedding aren't our style anymore. There is a little bit of a stigma around long engagements in the South. Weddings tend to happen quickly here (my parents were engaged for only three or four months), so there have been some jokes and off comments about Mr. Blue Moon stringing me along or how we'll never get married and just be engaged forever. But overall, I have thoroughly enjoyed my long engagement and I would definitely encourage couples who think their circumstances might warrant one to go ahead and wait. It has been a lot of fun!
How long is your engagement? What are some of the pros and cons to your own planning timeline?
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