Patience, Young Padawans: The Beauty of a Long Engagement

This is my second Star Wars reference on Weddingbee. I'm kind of ashamed of myself.

Via Mashable.com

 

 

Yesterday, Mr. Blue Moon and I celebrated our two year proposal anniversary. Mr. Blue Moon sent a beautiful flower arrangement to me at work, and we went on a pizza date to Mellow Mushroom. As we sat and reflected on our relationship and everything that has happened over the last two years, we started talking about whether we would do it all over again this way or not.

 

If we had gotten engaged when we were both out of college, already had enough in savings, and secure jobs, would we have waited two years to get engaged? Probably not. But if we had to do it again on the exact same timeline, we would do this thing the same way. As we've spent all this time planning and saving and planning some more, we have realized some definite benefits to having a long engagement, and if anyone else out there is facing a long engagement, take heart! You will get some perks in the planning process that shorter-timeline-couples may not experience.

 

1. Less Pressure

 

Via HockeysFuture.com

 

The nicest part of a long engagement is that you're under zero pressure, and can do pretty much everything and make every decision at your own pace. Right after my proposal in 2014, I went into a wedding planning frenzy. That's when I put together my super detailed wedding planning binder, pinned all of my inspiration ideas like mad, and started thinking about ceremony and reception locations. But, when college finals stress hit or I had something else going on in my life, I didn't have to feel guilty for putting wedding planning aside for weeks, or even months, at a time. I knew it would be right there waiting for me to pick it back up whenever I was ready.

 

2. More Celebrating

 

Via MemeGen.com

 

 

An obvious perk of a long engagement is just that there's more time to celebrate the engagement itself. Instead of rushing to the wedding part, we've had two years to get used to calling each other fiancé/fiancee, celebrating with our family and friends through parties and dinners, and really just enjoying this special time of our life without any rushing at all. I really love being engaged because it's such an exciting time. Couples are right on the brink of a new life together. I have really loved having two years to celebrate Mr. Blue Moon and enjoy all the little moments knowing that it's all leading up to a beautiful marriage.

 

3. The Focus is Off the Wedding



Generally speaking, I think having such a long engagement has helped me keep things in perspective. I know that many brides, especially young brides (like me), can find themselves so invested in the planning of one princess day that they lose sight of the marriage. I was really worried about being one of them, because let's face it, a wedding is very special and very exciting, and theoretically, will only happen once in your life. It's easy to get lost in the planning. Taking our planning process so slowly has helped me focus on Mr. Blue Moon and the life we are building together for when the wedding is long over. It also helps me take pause and just really appreciate the people around me: my mom and mother-in-law, my dad and father-in-law, our funny and adorable siblings, our grandparents, my dear friends, the guests that we love and can't wait to spend the big day with. It is so magical to see everyone working together from several different corners of the country to make our wedding happen. And I know that after it's over, we have an amazing support system in these people who can help us through the rough patches that we'll inevitably face.

 

With Mr. Blue Moon's family. Just some of the people who are supporting us and helping it all come together. Personal Photo.

 

 

4. Saving Money

The obvious trick here is that Mr. Blue Moon and I have had two years to build our savings, and come up with a plan for our first year of marriage. I have had this past year to establish my career and start nesting in our future married home. However, we are also saving money on the wedding itself because we're not under such a time crunch. We can wait around for sales and deals, and we have time to research the best vendors without being under any pressure to book right away.

 

5. Planning to Perfection

Even though our two-year timeline enables me to put the wedding on the back burner when I want to, when I DO decide to go full-planning mode for a few weeks or months at a time, the long engagement enables us to have time for all the little details and making sure things are exactly what we envision. We have been able to change our minds about vendors who we might be stuck with on a shorter timeline, and we were able to wait for the opening of my dream reception venue, which didn't even exist when we first got engaged two years ago. Even though I'm usually not the bride who wants to worry about every little detail, the timeline enables me to do that when the fancy strikes me.

 

 

Via Weddingwire.com

 







Of course, there are cons to every beneficial thing. We are obviously running out of patience, and ready to be married. And our tastes have changed a little bit over two years, so some of the things we thought we'd want to include in the wedding aren't our style anymore. There is a little bit of a stigma around long engagements in the South. Weddings tend to happen quickly here (my parents were engaged for only three or four months), so there have been some jokes and off comments about Mr. Blue Moon stringing me along or how we'll never get married and just be engaged forever. But overall, I have thoroughly enjoyed my long engagement and I would definitely encourage couples who think their circumstances might warrant one to go ahead and wait. It has been a lot of fun!

 

How long is your engagement? What are some of the pros and cons to your own planning timeline?



 

 



 

Flower Power

As you all know, I am planning much of my wedding from a distance with the help of Blue Mom and my future mother-in-law, Mama Blue. Today they are meeting with our potential florist to price out bouquets, bouts, and ceremony/reception flowers. Mr. Blue Moon's family decided to follow the old tradition of paying for the people flowers: the corsages, boutonnieres, the bridesmaids' bouquets, and my bridal bouquet, and my parents are generously paying for the floral décor.

The first thing Mr. Blue Moon and I did was sit down and make a list of all the flowers we would need.

People Flowers:
--1 bridal bouquet
--4 bridesmaids' bouquets (doubling as reception centerpieces)
--10 boutonnieres for 1 groom, five groomsmen, 2 dads, and 2 granddads
--6 corsages for 2 moms, 3 grandmothers, and 1 great-grandmother

Ceremony Flowers:
--2 wreaths for the front doors of the church
--1 wreath for the alter
--at least four flower pomanders for the family pews
--3 large arrangements for the front of the church and the guestbook table (can be moved to the reception for centerpieces and decorations)

Reception:
--bulk baby's breath for small arrangements
--other stuff that my wedding planner knows about and that doesn't concern me much because I fully trust her judgment

I think the flowers I'm most excited about are, of course, my bridal bouquet. I have three favorites that I've been eyeballing on blogs, and I really hope the florist we end up choosing will be able to deliver!

Photo by Stephanie Fay via Zalkopp.com // Floral arrangement from Camelback Flower Shop

Maybe I should have been a spring bride, because I am in love with luscious peonies. Their soft, full look is so romantic for any wedding.

Photo by The Nichols, bouquet from The Noveau Romantics, via Green Wedding Shoes

 

 

The lavender and sweet peas in this bouquet are charming. I like that this one has more color.

 

Photo by Allison Suter Photography, bouquet from Mi-Won Christiaanese, via Style Me Pretty

 

 



 



Out of my top three favorite bouquets, this one is probably my favorite of all. I love the addition of the peach, the amnesia roses are beautiful, and it looks like it has some succulents as well, which I love. I really hope that Blue Mom and Mama Blue can talk to the florist about something like this. It is so nice to have them as my right-hands on the hometown end of planning the wedding.

 

Photo by Liz Grogan Photography, boutonniere from Just Priceless, via Every Last Detail

 

I love this look for the men. The only thing I can't decide is whether I want the order different bouts for my groom, the groomsmen, and then the fathers/grandfathers. I love this one so much that I might just use it for everyone, but I would also like to think of a way to distinguish Mr. Blue Moon.

 

 



Flowers from Fancy Petals Florist, via their website

 

 

I like a simple look for the bridesmaids bouquets, too. I would like to incorporate the lavender like this, but maybe with less baby's breath.

 





The other place where I'm really stuck is with the corsages. I know we want wrist corsages for the moms and grandmothers, but I have no idea what they should look like. Similar to the boutonnieres, I guess.

 

I can't wait to update with my decoration inspiration, plus what we ultimately pick! How did you choose wedding flowers, and what are you prioritizing?

In Which We Design Invitations

We are just under three months away from the wedding! I can't believe how close we are to our wedding day. We have had such a long engagement that it has always felt like the wedding is eons away. Now that it's coming up so fast, every decision feels surreal.

Being at the three month mark, our wedding planner has been on us about ordering invitations, and of course, she's totally right. For some reason, invitations were one of the more difficult decisions for me to make. I think I began to get overwhelmed by all my options.

From the very beginning, I have waffled on the type of style I favor. I wondered if a rustic or vintage look would be the way to go to match our wedding theme.

 

Rustic Lace Wedding Invitation from DawnMarieCreations82 on Etsy.com

Pink Shabby Chic Invitations from Jinaiji on Zazzle.com 

Even though these invitations would match the wedding's "theme," I really didn't feel like they are very "me." I would rather have something with a pop of color, because I love color, and I knew we could still find something that would coordinate with the wedding. 

I heard a lot about Basic Invite, where the colors are fully customizable, and I thought that might a great option for us. I found some gorgeous invitations that I really loved, and customized them with our wedding colors. 

This is called the Illustrated Corner Wreath, and here's how it would look in our wedding colors. 

 

Invitation

 

Reply Card

 

Reception Enclosure

We could have gotten 85 of these for between $300 and $400, which is what I was prepared to pay in the budget, but I still hesitated a little bit. That still seemed like a lot of money to pay for something that most people just eventually throw in the trash, and for whatever reason, I still wasn't positive that these were exactly right for the vibe of our wedding. 

I looked around at some of the beautiful invitations on Minted and Wedding Paper Divas, but I also wondered if it was possible to find something I loved on my old friend, Vistaprint. After all, that would certainly be the most cost-effective, and it would also leave us with enough left over to spare for upgrading to nicer paper and such.  

Invitation

Reception Enclosure

 

Response Card

These are located here at Vistaprint's website. They seemed just ok when I was designing them. I think my main problem with these and the invitations from Basic Invite was all the white space. I know that's traditional, but I thought I could find a design better suited to us. 

Enter these lovelies. The colors are right, and I love the monogram at the top and the purple borders around the edges. 

 

Invitation 

 

Reply Card

 

Reception Enclosure

The back of our invitation and reception enclosure have our monogram written horizontally, like this.

We also threw in envelope seals. We might not use them, or we might use them on favors instead of on the invitations, but they were a great deal.

I played with the font sizes and designs a little bit, and customized my reception card completely because Blue Mom requested to know ahead of time how many people will be eating vegan, vegetarian, and meat. That will make it easier for us to order the proper amount of everything from the caterer. 

Aside from all you see here, I ordered brown kraft outer envelopes from a different company, and we're going to use the envelopes that Vistraprint supplies as inner envelopes. We ordered the invitations and enclosures on linen pressed paper. All told, our total hovered around $180. We can't beat that price, and I am super happy with the design I chose.

How did you pick invitations?

 

 

 

 

Musically Inclined

I come from a very musical family. Two of my uncles and my youngest brother are incredible guitar players, and Mr. Blue Moon's brother has a great voice. I've lived in three amazing places for music: Nashville, Macon, Georgia, a mecca for southern rock, and the Mississippi Delta for the blues. You would think that by now I would have at least made some time to learn to play an instrument with some proficiency or something. I guess it's just not to be.

Brother S and my two uncles jamming last Christmas. Personal Photo

That said, I LOVE music even if I can't really make it. Choosing music for both our wedding ceremony and the important dances at the reception was a lot more difficult than I anticipated, so I thought I would share some of my process for whoever is struggling with this like I did.

For the ceremony, I started by thinking about what I DON'T want. Blue Mom was all for having everything stay very traditional. Canon in D, Wagner's Bridal Chorus, and pretty much everything she had in her wedding. All of these ideas would make a beautiful wedding ceremony, but I considered how we might be able to personalize some of the music to who we are as a couple.

With that goal in mind, Mr. Blue Moon and I picked a couple of songs from movies that we love or songs that have an important meaning to us to be played instrumentally as part of the ceremony.

I have dozens of songs I love from movie soundtracks, so we decided that the ceremony would be a good way to sneak them in without having an overtly wizard, Disney, or classic film themed wedding. Both being massive Harry Potter nerds, but not wanting it to take over our wedding day, we decided to use a song from one of the movies, Neville's Waltz, as our prelude song immediately before the ceremony begins. I also chose an instrumental version of Moon River from Breakfast at Tiffany's for the wedding processional, when our groomsmen, bridesmaids and flower girl will process down the aisle.

For the bridal processional, I chose the title song from Tuck Everlasting, a movie I adored as a kid. Mr. Blue Moon is putting his foot down on any over-the-top Disney references, but this one will be subtle. Even after I grew out of the movie (sort of), I always seem to have the melody stuck in my head. It sounds so romantic, and it's also nice and short- since our aisle is seriously only going to take like fifteen seconds for Daddy Blue Moon and I to walk down, it didn't make sense to pick a piece that won't even really be started by the time we reach Mr. Blue Moon.

Mr. Blue Moon also suggested that we think about some songs that mean a lot to us lyrically. Even if our guests don't recognize them, they will still have a deep meaning for us. To that end, we chose our recessional song based off of one we have listened to many times on our long trips between each other's cities. Our wedding will truly be a homecoming after so many years of long-distance living!

How I'm going to feel when we finally live together. Image via PetMountain.com

For the seating of the grandmothers and mothers, I decided to compromise with Blue Mom on something more classic. We will also have one hymn sung a capella during the ceremony itself.

The final breakdown looks something like this:

Prelude: Neville's Waltz by Patrick Doyle
Seating of the Family: Canon in D by Johann Pachelbel
Wedding Processional: Moon River (Instrumental) by Henry Mancini
Bridal Processional: Main Title by William Ross
Hymn: The Greatest Command
Recessional: Home (Instrumental) by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

We've hired Mockingbird Musicians, a piano and violin duo, for our ceremony music, and I know they'll do an amazing job! They are charging us a little more to arrange some of the lesser-used selections on our list, but I think it's worth it to have exactly what I had in mind.

How are you choosing your ceremony music? Do you like the traditional sound, or are you stepping a little bit outside of the box?

The Icing on the Cake

Before I got engaged to Mr. Blue Moon, I remember reading about the wedding planning processes of other couples and thinking "this is going to be so hard!" There are just so many things to make decisions about when it comes to planning a wedding. I recently saw a statistic somewhere that teachers make, on average, 1,500 decisions per day. That tells me that I am stressed enough in my everyday life! That's why my wedding planning philosophy boils down to keeping things as simple as possible for everyone involved.

All of this said, I picked out a wedding cake vendor without going to a single cake tasting with her. That's right. I have not tasted a sample of my wedding cake a SINGLE time, and I don't plan to. And I am totally ok with it. 

As I wrote about in our hunt for a reception space, Mr. Blue Moon and I will be the first couple to use the amazing Graystone Quarry Hillside Pavilion. Normally, Graystone Quarry is all-inclusive and has a team of seriously top-notch Nashville vendors to make their couples' weddings perfect. Since Mr. Blue Moon and I are operating on a limited budget, and will be the venue's first event, the owner kindly agreed to let us book whoever we want from her vendor team as part of our contract, but also bring in outside vendors to help us stay in our budget. 

As we were looking through Graystone Quarry's vendor team, Mr. Blue Moon and I were dazzled. We were especially dazzled by the wedding cakes on offer. Take a look at these beauties! 

Via Dessert Designs by Leland, Graystone Quarry's wedding cake vendor

Via Graystone Quarry

As you can see, these cakes are beyond gorgeous. Of course, Mr. Blue Moon and I will not need more than three tiers, and even that will be a lot for 80 or 85 people. After looking through the vendor's website, we realized that their work is a lot more ornate than what we had pictured for our down-home, family wedding. Though I am sure Desserts by Leland can pull off a simple cake just as beautifully, we decided that we could get what we wanted in a cake and stay in our budget, too!

As I said in my catering post, we were leaning towards just having our food caterer take care of our wedding cake.  CJ's Catering creates amazing cakes, and Mr. Blue Moon pointed out that many of the pictures of their work were cakes in the simple, white free-iced design that I had my eye on anyway. 

Simple, understated, lovely! Via CJ's Catering

Blue Mom and I decided to schedule another tasting with CJ's, this time for cake, and we went in to devour this little slice of heaven. 

Personal Photo

A yellow cake with strawberry filling and whipped icing, this cake sample was moist and delicious! I thought this was a great slice, and I am not even a cake girl (normally I ask for the tiniest slice possible to be polite, and then scrape off all the icing, too). Blue Mom wanted to check out one more cake caterer though, because she was looking for a more traditional wedding cake, with the white cake and buttercream icing. Since I know that Blue Mom prioritizes the cake a lot more than I do, I agreed to let her look around some more while I headed back to Mississippi for my work week. 

Blue Mom decided to try a local cakery called Tis So Sweet. She had heard great things about it, and it also came highly recommended by our wedding planner. After her scheduled tasting, she called me raving about how amazing the cakes were. She was so obsessed with it that she was even trying to figure out how to mail me a sample! I told her she could keep the samples for her and Daddy Blue Moon to enjoy at home, but I did go on the vendor's Facebook page to see some of the cake creations for myself.

These are amazing. Via Tis So Sweet. 

Here's one closer to the simple style we're going for. Via Tis So Sweet.

So that was that. Without sampling a single bite, I took Blue Mom at her word and decided on Tis So Sweet. We are going to have a three tier round vanilla cake with raspberry preserve filling and vanilla buttercream. It will be simply iced, and include a custom cake topper I ordered off of Etsy. Tis So Sweet is also going to do two dozen chocolate vegan cupcakes, which we will offer to guests instead of a groom's cake (still very popular in the South). 

I am so glad that I had Blue Mom's help in the cake tasting department, and it is great to know that I have someone at home I can trust to make important decisions. And who could be better than my mom to help me in this department? I really thought I might be a bride who needs to decide ALL OF THE THINGS, but my job as a teacher just really prevents me from having my finger in every pie (or cake) so to speak. I'm glad that I'm getting what without having to make multiple trips back home for tastings! 

Do you have someone besides your fiance that is helping with your wedding decisions, or do you prefer to get all the options across your desk before you approve anything? What was the easiest decision to make?

Dressing the Ladies: Part II

Well, my spring break is over and it's time to get back to the grind for my final quarter of teaching this year. It's so weird and awesome to think that when the next quarter starts, Mr. Blue Moon and I will be married and finally living under the same roof!

During the first half of my vacation, I went home to work on some wedding items with my mom, and helped my two hometown bridesmaids pick out their dresses. I spent the second half of the week with Mr. Blue Moon in Atlanta, and met with my two out-of-state bridesmaids to pick out dresses. Since we are doing mismatched styles, it is really just a matter of helping my girls pick their favorites. I'm not picky!

 

Bridesmaid H in a short crinkle chiffon halter dress from David's Bridal. Personal Photo.

 

Bridesmaid H hails from Georgia, and is also a graduate of a university here, but we did not meet until after we both moved to Mississippi for Teach For America. We taught summer school together last summer, and ended up getting placed in the same town for this school year. Now we're housemates, and I don't know what I would do without her in my wedding party!

BM H tried on a few of her favorite styles, and we narrowed it down to the style she is pictured in and this illusion neckline dress. 

 

Short mesh dress with sweetheart neckline from David's Bridal.

Yeah, I am a bad photographer. I was so caught up in the excitement of getting to hang out with two of my favorite ladies that I totally forgot to take pictures of them in every dress. But BM H looked amazing in both of her top picks. She ultimately decided that she could probably wear the halter style again after the wedding, so she picked that one. 

 

Excuse me chopping off BM M's head in this picture. This is a short strapless crinkle chiffon dress. Personal Photo.

BM M and I have been friends for three years. She was Mr. Blue Moon's college debate partner, and has kind of been through the whole experience of being a female debater in a super male-debater-dominated region of the country with me. That kind of thing will really help you bond fast, and we have always looked out for each other. It has been amazing to work with her, and I know she'll keep me calm when the wedding day rolls around! 

BM M probably tried on a dozen dresses at David's. Here is another one of our favorites. 

 

One shoulder tulle dress from David's Bridal.

Out of all the bridesmaids' dresses at David's, this is probably my favorite one. If I were going to dress all my girls in the same thing, this would have been one of my top picks. Sadly, most of my ladies were not about this dress. It looked amazing on BM M, but we decided together that she should go with the strapless chiffon since none of the other ladies are wearing tulle. Just like my other beautiful ladies though, BM M would look perfect in anything. 

Even though I feel like things are really speeding up now as we approach the three month mark to our wedding, I really enjoyed getting to sit back and enjoy the afternoon with two of my bridesmaids. I love these girls so much, and I can't wait to hang out with them even more in the week leading up to the wedding! 

 

Excuse the squinty eyes. It was so beautiful and bright outside while we were shopping! Personal Photo

The other item that has been on my to-do list this past week was to book hair and make-up for myself and the bridesmaids that want it. MOH K wants hair and make-up, BM E and BM H are doing their own, and BM M wants hair only. Thankfully my vendor, Galilee Bagwell, was more than happy to accommodate all of these various requests. She is going to come to us in the bridal suite of our venue on the day-of to get us looking pretty. 

 

I love the hair and subtle make-up on this bride. Via Galilee Bagwell. 

 

I am thinking about asking for a half-updo like this. I love a good updo, but I never wear my hair up and I think I will look more like myself to Mr. Blue Moon if I leave it down. Via Galilee Bagwell. 

I'm so happy I got so much checked off my to-do list during my long vacation. It feels good to get things out of the way, and I know making some of these big decisions and booking more important vendors definitely keeps my mom and wedding planner happy. We're on the final stretch now!

 

What's on your to-do list this week? How are you coordinating your wedding party if you have members that are in other locations?  

 

It's Official, We Have Our Officiant!

My parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary yesterday (congratulations, Mom and Dad), so I'm taking some time today to write about how we found our wedding officiant.

Mr. Blue Moon and I were both raised in Christian families, but in different denominational traditions. Mr. Blue Moon was raised in the Presbyterian tradition, and I was raised in a church of Christ. As we have gone through the process of finding a church to marry in that we can both agree on, thinking about what we want to incorporate into our wedding ceremony, and asking someone special to officiate it, we have talked a lot about how we can compromise and incorporate elements from both of our backgrounds. 

We decided pretty early on in our engagement to use our hometown's Presbyterian church, about five minutes down the road from both of our childhood homes, for our ceremony. Though we had several choices, Mr. Blue Moon ultimately felt that it was good to marry in a church that follows the same tradition that he was raised in. It was not important to me to get married in my church or another different church of Christ. 

However, I thought a good blend might be to ask someone from my religious tradition to officiate our ceremony. Mr. Blue Moon agreed, and we decided to ask my mom's cousin to do our ceremony. He has been a lifelong member of the same denomination, officiated many church of Christ weddings, and actually married my parents in 1991!

My lovely parents and cousin 25 years ago. Personal Photo.

My mom is really excited that we asked her cousin to officiate the wedding. We are talking with him about using some of the same scripture readings from my parents' ceremony. Since our wedding is focused on family and those traditions that get passed down, I am really happy to be able to mesh my religious upbringing with Mr. Blue Moon's, give a nod to my parents' wedding (they are seriously one of the strongest couples I know), and have a family member I have grown up with officiate our ceremony. I think that will really help us feel relaxed on the big day. 

How will you choose your wedding officiant? How are you blending denominational or religious differences in your wedding ceremony?